Chihiro Swears
by RagefulThief
Summary: Chihiro swears creatively when he thinks no one can hear him, but that doesn't mean that no one is listening. (Cross posted on AO3)
1. Chapter 1

**Alternative title - 5 Times Chihiro Swore When He Thought No One Was Around and the 1 Time He Swore in Front of the Entire Class.**

 **This story is based on a prompt from the DR Kink Meme where OP wanted someone who doesn't usually swear swearing creatively. I chose Chihiro because I thought it would be hilarious. This is basically a crack fic and Chihiro is probably OOC, but I hope you all enjoy!**

 **~ RagefulThief**

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The sound of shoes squeaking on tiles could be heard throughout the hallways. Chihiro was panting, running through the halls to get to class.

 _'I can't believe I overslept!'_

He rushed up the stairs to the second floor, trying to get to class fast, but also trying not to get caught by Kiyotaka for running in the halls. God knows he'll find out about this though. As he ran passed the library, he smashed his foot against something.

"Jesus titty fucking Christ on a _boat_!" Chihiro hopped on one foot while clutching the other, his face twisted in pain, "Fucking Caesar's ghost, that hurt! What did I even hit?" Chihiro looked down, spotting several dumbbells scattered on the floor. He sighed and sprinted around the equipment and towards the classroom. What Chihiro didn't notice, however, was an astonished Byakuya who had witnesses the whole thing.


	2. Chapter 2

After receiving a small lecture from Taka and thoroughly apologizing, Chihiro sat down in his seat. Byakuya soon entered, ignoring Taka's lecture about tardiness. With the SHSL Heir here, Taka turned the class over to the teacher.

As the teacher started the lesson, Chihiro reached into his bag to grab his notebook. He paused, then looked into his bag and started to search frantically for his notebook.

"Is everything alright Chihiro?" He vaguely heard Aoi, her voice just above a whisper as to not get caught by Taka or the teacher.

"Son of a horse-loving crack whore," Chihiro groaned. He left his notebook back in his room. He hung his head and sighed, before raising his hand and sheepishly asking if he could go back to his room and grab his notebook. As he left the classroom, he left behind a shocked Aoi, who had heard what the programmer had said.


	3. Chapter 3

**I just wanted to give a small shout out to god's executioner REBORN for leaving a review and adding this story to their favorites, CyberFan479 for following this story, and to a random guest for leaving a review. Thank you guys so much, you guys are awesome! And with that out of the way, onto chapter three, I hope you enjoy.**

 **~RagefulThief**

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Chihiro walked out of the locker room dressed in his gym clothes. After giving himself a quick once-over, he walked down the stairs to the first floor and joined his classmates in the gym. As he entered the gym, he looked over his friends before spotting Mondo and walking over to him.

Mondo looked over at Chihiro as he approached him, giving the programmer a smile, "Hey kid."

"Hello Mondo," replied Chihiro, looking up at the gang leader.

"Hey, somethin' the matter? Ya looked kinda out of it earlier. No one's pickin' on ya are they?" Mondo asked.

"Oh, it's nothing like that," Chihiro looked off to the side, "I've just been having a bad day is all..." he trailed off.

"Well shit, that sucks. What happened if no one's pickin' on ya to make your day bad?" questioned the gang leader.

"Well-" Chihiro shifted from one foot to the other- "I over slept this morning, which caused me to be late. On my way to class, I smashed my foot against some dumbbells that were left in the middle of the hallway. My foot still hurts from that; and after I got to class, I realized I had left my notebook back in my room." The shorter male looked up at the taller one, wringing his hands.

"That sucks, hope your day gets better kid," Mondo said as he ruffled Chihiro's hair.

Chihiro giggled at the gesture, "Thanks Mondo."

The gym teacher cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention. "Alright class, today we'll be going outside to the track and doing a two mile run."

A chorus of groans was heard. No one wanted to run two miles.

"Fffuck me up the ass with a purple power drill," Chihiro muttered under his breath.

 _'Today is just going to get worse and worse for me, isn't it?'_ thought the programmer. Chihiro sighed, dragging his feet as he went to join the rest of the class at the track, leaving behind a stunned Mondo, who had managed to catch what his friend had said.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm so sorry this took awhile to get out. I had meant to post this chapter earlier, but life kinda got in the way. Anyway, I hope you'll all enjoy this chapter, so without further ado, here's the newest chapter of 'Chihiro Swears'!**

 **~RagefulThief**

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Chihiro walked into the cafeteria. The cafeteria was nearly empty, the only other people in there were Celeste and Hifumi. The programmer looked over at the clock; he was thirty minutes early.

 _'Well, I might as well grab lunch before everyone else rushes in. Knowing my luck today if I wait until twelve there probably won't be any food left.'_

Chihiro walked across the cafeteria, glancing over at Hifumi, who had just brought Celeste a cup of milk tea. The gambler took a sip of the tea, pausing a moment before throwing the cup across the room. She yelled at Hifumi to make the tea again. Chihiro gave the otaku a sympathetic look as the heavier male scurried to the kitchen to make another cup.

Chihiro walked over to the end of the counter, grabbing a tray. He moved to the center of the counter, sliding his tray with him. Now in front of the person behind the counter, Chihiro asked for a chicken salad sandwich. As the person behind the counter turned to get it for him, he grabbed a water bottle and a bag of chips. The person returned, handing the programmer his food as he thanked them.

Chihiro grabbed his tray and started to walk towards the tables, humming to himself. As he was walking, he didn't notice the puddle of tea that Celeste had threw across the room earlier, and slipped on the tea.

"Babbling furry fuckers!" cried the light-haired male as he hit the ground. Chihiro groaned before slowly picking himself off the ground, vaguely hearing the sound of something breaking. As he got up, he looked down at himself.

"Mother of cock-tease hell," groaned the doe-eyed male. His clothes were soaked with tea and water, as well as covered in chicken salad. He quickly ran out of the cafeteria to wash his clothes.

Celeste and Hifumi were left in the cafeteria completely staggered. Hifumi stood in the kitchen doorway, shattered pieces of a tea cup in front of his feet. Celeste sat frozen in her seat, her eyes wide. Both stared at the spot where the doe-eyed male once stood, speechless.


	5. Chapter 5

**Whoo-hoo, another chapter! Sorry for the long wait, school is coming to a close , so a lot more work is coming my way. Also, sorry if the ending seems a bit rushed. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

 **~ RagefulThief**

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Chihiro walked out of the bathroom in his room, a towel around his waist. His light brown hair was wet, droplets of water falling from the ends periodically. Chihiro walked over to his dresser, rummaging around before pulling out a new pair of underwear, shorts, and a t-shirt. Chihiro removed the towel around his waist and started to get dressed, blushing as he thought about what happened earlier.

After he had ran from the cafeteria covered in his lunch, he had burst into the laundry room, quickly ripping his clothes off so he could get them washed faster. He hadn't even checked if anyone was in the laundry room before tearing his clothes off. If anyone had come in, they would have been subjected to an impromptu Fujisaki strip tease. If it had been Taka who had walked in, ho-boy, he would have probably given another lecture, this time on indecent exposure.

 _'I should have checked if anyone was in the laundry room before I took off my chicken salad covered clothes, someone could have seen me in there. Wait... someone could have seen me running back to my room in only my underwear!'_ Chihiro blushed heavily as he thought about his careless actions. He put on his shirt, then grabbed his towel and dried off his hair. He hung up his wet towel, before grabbing his e-handbook and phone and leaving his room.

Chihiro headed to the laundry room to finish washing his clothes. He walked into the laundry room, greeting Yasuhiro, who was sitting at the table reading a magazine, waiting for his own clothes to finish washing. Seeing that his clothes were done washing, Chihiro went and moved his wet clothes from the washer to the dryer. After throwing in a dryer sheet and starting up the dryer, he sat down at the table across from Hiro.

Chihiro pulled out his phone, messing with it for a few minutes. He looked at the time on his phone and then over at the dryer; he had 35 minutes left before his clothes were dry. The programmer put down his phone and turned towards Hiro, who had lowered the magazine in his hands, and started to make small talk.

Time seemed to fly by as they talked, the two never really staying on one topic for very long. At one point the older male got up to move his clothes from washer to dryer before sitting back down at the table. The two heard footsteps and turned towards the doorway, seeing Sayaka enter with a laundry basket on her hip. They all exchanged greetings and the idol soon joined the conversation.

The sound of the dryer alerted the shorter male that his clothes were done. Chihiro got up from his seat at the table and went to grab his clothes. As he walked to the dryer, Chihiro tripped, knocking into a dryer and knock over a basket filled with detergent, bleach, dryer sheets, and other laundering items. As the container fell, a bottle of detergent, which had not been closed all the way, had spilled all over the floor.

"Sweet Satan fucking a corpse!" exclaimed the doe-eyed male. He quickly ran to the sink in the corner and grabbed a wet rag, running back to the spill to clean it up. The detergent was cleaned up quickly, with the rag thrown into the sink and the basket and laundering items cleaned up and put away.

Chihiro grabbed his clothes from the dryer before exiting the laundry room to head back to his own room, forgetting about Hiro and Sayaka. The clairvoyant and pop sensation were taken aback by the programmer's language. The two stood there, jaws dropped. A washer and dryer dinged in the background breaking the silence, alerting them that their laundry was done.


	6. Chapter 6

Chihiro sat, tapping away on his laptop. Lines of code appeared on the screen as his fingers glided across the keys. Hazel eyes focused on the screen as he lost himself to coding, zoning out the rest of the world. As he concentrated on his work, his thoughts drifted to the day's earlier events.

 _'I can't believe what has happened today, it's been horrible!'_ A small frown appeared on the programmer's face. _'First I smashed my foot against a dumbbell, next I forgot my notebook, I had to do a two mile run, I slipped on a puddle of tea during lunch, causing me to fall and cover myself in my lunch, and as I was washing my clothes, I spilled detergent everywhere too. Today has been a disaster.'_

Chihiro paused, removing his hands from the keyboard for a moment and balling them up, a look of frustration crossing his face as he inhaled deeply. He exhaled, relaxing, his hands soon returning to their place on the keyboard. A relaxed smile appeared on his face as re resumed typing, trying to forget his frustrations with the earlier events of the day.

"Atleast today cant get any worse."

He shouldn't have said that. He SHOULD **NOT** have said that.

Not even five minutes after muttering those words, Chihiro's laptop froze. Confused and starting to worry, the programmer tried tapping a few keys, hoping his laptop had only started to run slow. Oh, it seems whatever God there is was against him today, as his laptop blue screened. Chihiro's eyes widened as panic washed over him.

 _'No, no, it's alright,'_ though the brunet, trying to calm himself, _'Most blue screens can be fixed with a simple restart. There's no need to worry, it just needs to restart and I can continue with my work.'_

Chihiro was not convinced by his thoughts. He sat anxiously waiting for his laptop to restart. The laptop soon finished restarting and Chihiro quickly typed in his password. The programmer's heart nearly stopped as he was brought to the desktop, the shortcuts to some of his were gone. Panicked, he quickly typed away on his laptop, checking on all of his files.

"No no no nO NO NO!"

Gone. All of his files were GONE. All his work, his important codes, gone. This wouldn't have been much of a problem though, since he usually saves his work on multiple computers, HOWEVER, Chihiro had yet to save the newer files onto another computer, one of which was his latest coding project, which was for an important company. The short teen started to shake, anger replacing his panic. He started to breath heavily, gritting his teeth.

"MotherFUCKER," Chihiro screeched, "I worked so hard on those programs and your piece of shit ass can't even WORK. You're like a prostitute who does know what a blow job or sex is, fucking useless!" Chihiro stood up and SLAMMED the laptop shut, seething with anger. " I've had it up to HERE with today, life has fucked me over and life is a TERRIBLE fuck. Today has been HORRIBLE and this little event is just the cherry on top of the horse shit sundae!"

Chihiro stood there panting heavily, looking at the floor. his small frame shook, still fuming with anger.

"ChiHIRO"

Taka's voice snapped him out of it. Slowly, Chihiro looked up, the shocked faces of his classmates staring at him. fuck, he forgot he had brought his laptop to class to work on the program when he had some spare time. They started at the doe-eyed male in a mix of shock and horror at his language. Chihiro started back, horrified that they had heard him.

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw..." muttered the programmer.

~Omake~

Chihiro sat on a small stool in the corner of Taka's room disgruntled, his arms crossed and a bar of soap in his mouth. The brunet was getting a lecture a certain hall monitor, who had the help of Mukuro and Sakura. After his outburst of swears, and Taka had finally snapped out of his stunned state, he got up and, after enlisting the help of the solider and martial artist, dragged him to his dorm, where he had Mukuro wash his mouth out with soap. The taste and thorough scrubbing had made him gag.

Once Mukuro was done washing his mouth out she had told him to keep the bar of soap in his mouth. She had then led him out of the bathroom and to a stool in the corner of Taka's room. this is where he had been for the past hour, and it didn't sound like Taka was going to stop anytime soon. the disgruntled teen looked up at his friends, all three of them looked disappointed in him for using such language. Chihiro huffed, a few bubbles forming from the soap bar in his mouth.

 _'Fuck. My. Life.'_

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 **And with that, 'Chihiro Swears' has come to an end! I hope you all enjoyed the final chapter of this fic. I had so much fun writing this story and I'm so glad that a lot of people enjoyed this. Thank all of you who favorited, followed and/or reviewed, you guys are the best! Also, shoutout to erin05774 who gave me the idea for the swear 'fuck me gently with a chainsaw' in their review. Anyway, thank you all for reading and I hope you all enjoyed!**

 **~RagefulThief**


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